Sensitive Sleepers

Every once in a while we get "sensitive sleepers" staying at the hotel. These are guests that come in and demand the quietest room in the hotel as if they believe there is some sort of hyperbolic sound chamber we have reserved for people like them. I've had guests check in to the hotel and lay in the beds of 6 different rooms to check hear which one is quieter.

This guest would say things like "No I can't sleep in this room, I can hear the fan from that building down the block."

No matter what room we give them they still come down and complain about some sort of disturbance the next morning. "The garbage trucks woke me up this morning, I should get a free breakfast for the inconvenience." I feel like saying to them "Oh really, I'm so sorry. We'll be sure to call the sanitation department and stop all garbage collection on the block because you are a light sleeper and you are visiting the city that never sleeps." Or "Well you can call 311, ask for Mayor Bloomberg and see what he has to say about your inconvenience."

Let me say this clearly, if you are a light sleeper stay the fuck out of New York City! If you do have to come here, don't complain about the noises of the city to the people who can't do anything about it. We are happy to move you to a higher floor but we can't do anything about the sounds of the fans in our building or any others. We can't stop construction on the street and we can't appease you because you lost an hour sleep due to the way the city you chose to visit operates.

Get real and take an Ambien!