Sensitive Sleepers

Every once in a while we get "sensitive sleepers" staying at the hotel. These are guests that come in and demand the quietest room in the hotel as if they believe there is some sort of hyperbolic sound chamber we have reserved for people like them. I've had guests check in to the hotel and lay in the beds of 6 different rooms to check hear which one is quieter.

This guest would say things like "No I can't sleep in this room, I can hear the fan from that building down the block."

No matter what room we give them they still come down and complain about some sort of disturbance the next morning. "The garbage trucks woke me up this morning, I should get a free breakfast for the inconvenience." I feel like saying to them "Oh really, I'm so sorry. We'll be sure to call the sanitation department and stop all garbage collection on the block because you are a light sleeper and you are visiting the city that never sleeps." Or "Well you can call 311, ask for Mayor Bloomberg and see what he has to say about your inconvenience."

Let me say this clearly, if you are a light sleeper stay the fuck out of New York City! If you do have to come here, don't complain about the noises of the city to the people who can't do anything about it. We are happy to move you to a higher floor but we can't do anything about the sounds of the fans in our building or any others. We can't stop construction on the street and we can't appease you because you lost an hour sleep due to the way the city you chose to visit operates.

Get real and take an Ambien!

Teaching to tip

The other day I went up to a guest's room for a luggage down call. For those of you who are not familiar with industry speak, "luggage down" means a guest needs a bellman to go up to their room with a cart and collect their bags and bring them to the lobby to either store the bags for the day or load them up in a town car/taxi for them.  It's very common and is a great way to earn a good tip.

I arrived at the door and gave my patented, syncopated knock followed by my "bellman at the door!" greeting. The door swung open and I found myself gazing into the hallway of one of our double rooms with a family of four frantically trying to get ready. They were very nice people and even helped me load the luggage onto my cart. "Will you be needing to store these bags for the day or shall I go downstairs and hail you a taxi?" I asked.

"We will need to store them, our flight isn't until later tonight." The mother responded.

"No problem at all." I said with a bright smile on my face as I pulled my stash of luggage tags out of my back pocket. I counted up the number of bags on the and wrote the figure on the luggage ticket, tore off the ticket along the perforated edge and looked up to hand the ticket to the mother. It was then that I realized the younger of their two boys was standing in the hallway with tip money in his hand.

"Well here you are young man, just hand this ticket back to one of the bellman upon your return to the hotel and we will be happy to take your luggage back out for you." I said and as I handed him the ticket he handed me five $1 bills. "Thank you very much young man, it is much appreciated." He smiled as he realized he had performed the American custom perfectly. "Have a wonderful day exploring our city, we will see you when you get back."

I exited the room and headed towards the elevators to return to the lobby. While waiting for the elevator to arrive, a thought occurred to me. This was not the first time that I had received a tip from a child. Often times cheap parents will have their kids give people in the service industries bad tips because they know their children are less likely to receive bad looks for shitty tips (or shitty looks for bad tips.) However, in this instance the tip was decent and I realized that young boy just got his first lesson in tipping.

I think half the time that Europeans don't tip it's because they have no idea how to. They don't know the proper etiquette because their parents never showed them how to. They don't know how much to tip because their parents never taught them that you tip $1-$2 per bag or 20% of a restaurant bill. When I left that room that young boy may have asked his parents "Why did I give that man money?"

"Well honey," I'm sure his parents would respond, "that man performed a service for us and in America it is customary to tip for services provided."

"Well why did I tip him $5?" the boy might have asked.

"We had him store 5 of our bags so I gave him $1 per bag. When we come back later, I will have you tip the gentleman that retrieves our bags another $5. This is what we call tipping etiquette son."

So to any parents out there that may read this, teach your children how to tip properly. It is a life long lesson that they will use on a daily basis (so long as they live in America.) 

Welcome Back!

Welcome back to my readers! I apologize for the month long hiatus, but I took August off to travel and to see family (paid vacations are a beautiful perk of a unionized job.) While I was away I didn't feel like thinking about my job as a bellman very much. However, traveling and staying in hotels while away gave me incredible insight to the hotel industry. When you assume the role of the guest, it's amazing how differently you see hotels as opposed to being the worker.

But now I'm back baby, and the stories from my travels and my years at the job in Times Square shall continue! Please stay tuned and tell all your friends, the BK Bellman will continue to blog!

Cabbie Con-man!

Let me tell you a little story about a cabbie (who looked like the guys pictured below) and who drove a cab that looked like the one to the right.

It was in the early evening and a cab pulled up to the loading zone of the hotel. I approached the cab, opened the door and said my customary "Welcome to R&B Hotels and welcome to New Y.....). Before I could even finish I could tell that this women was in an arguement with her taxi driver. Based on the standard "$50.35" on the meter, I could tell that this woman came directly from JFK.

As I listened in on the conversation I heard "but I don't have any cash" she said. "This is the only way I can pay you."

"No! You need cash!" The cabbie shouted. "Credit card machine broken, only cash!"

Now, before I can continue, I need to give you a little back story on the history of the Taxi and Limosine Commission (TLC) and the city of New York City and the cabbies caught in the middle. About 5-10 years ago, Mayor Bloomberg made it mandatory that all taxi cabs be equipped with credit card machines. The cab drivers Union was not happy about the law since all fares paid by credit card would be reported income and subject to taxation by the city and by the state. They put up a big fuss about it to the day, many of them still try to collect only cash for their fares. As a rule of thumb, I only pay cab drivers in cash. It's just one less problem I will have to deal with during the course of my cab ride to Brooklyn. (They don't like going to outer bouroughs either.)

Here is a FAQ from the NYC TLC website regarding this issue:
Is a driver allowed to refuse to let a passenger use his/her credit/debit card?
No. In vehicles equipped with technology systems drivers are required to accept American Express, MasterCard, VISA and Discover (and some will accept the JCB Card) for all fares. The driver must accept credit/debit cards for any fare amount.  If a driver claims the credit card system is broken and/or prevents a passenger from using their credit/debit card, please report the medallion number to the TLC by calling 311.

For a brief period of time, (during a suspension for questionable conduct) my co-worker and friend Willie Bass drove a cab to make his income. One day he was hanging out across the street waiting for an airport run, I went over to him and had a little chat. He told me about how cab drivers scam tourists for cash fares. When the cabbie and his passenger(s) arrive at their destination, the driver needs to press a button to prompt the screen in the back seat to display payment options. Now, once that screen is prompted, the driver then presses another button that tells his CPU that the passengers wish to pay cash. If the driver presses that second button, the passengers can swipe their credit card all they want, the CPU will still be waiting for a cash payment.

The cabbies then say, "Oh, my credit card machine is broken, you need to pay cash." Or they say, "The system is down, you need to pay cash." When a cab driver says this, I know they are full of shit. There is no way the garage would let a car leave for a shift if there was anything wrong with the credit card machine. In addition, the cabbie's "system" is interconnected. If the system is down in one cab, the system would then have to be down in all 13,000+ cabs across the city.

The cab driver then will start pressing buttons on the meter to further prove his point that he can't accept credit cards but if you look closely, there is one button he won't press and that is the button that prompts the screen in the back seat to allow the credit card option to display.

Anyway, I think you have enough background on the issue at hand. As I realized what was going on, I approached the cabbie at the passenger side door. "Yo man, what's the problem here?" I asked politely.

"Credit card not working, she need to pay cash. See?" He shows me as he starts pressing 3 out of the 4 buttons on his meter repeatedly.

"Yeah? Well why don't you press that button right there?" I say pointing to the 4th illusive button.

Realizing that I'm in the know on this issue, he looks at me with disbelief and then states "You get outta here, this is not your business."

"Well this woman in the back is a guest at my hotel so I guess it is my business." I fire back. "Look, she doesn't have any cash. Press that button and let her pay you. If you don't then she can't pay you. I'm trying to help you get paid."

At this point he has no interest in listening to logic. It seems he is more interested in sticking to his guns rather than accepting a payment that will get taxed.

"No! This is none of your business!!" He comes back. "The machine is broken! She needs to pay cash!! If you don't get out of here, I'm going to call the police!"

"Well I work here so I can't go anywhere." I state. "Go ahead and call the cops if you want."

To this he pulls out his cell phone and begins making calls. I give him a long glare before I turn to our guest in the back seat. "Look ma'am, I don't know what you want to do. If I were you, I would just leave and not pay him at all."

"I'm in a big rush." She says. "I just want to pay him and get up to my room. Where is the closest BofA ATM?"

"It's just half a block down there on the corner." I reply.

She heads down to the corner as I head inside and the cab driver continues to play around on his iPhone. I head to the back office behind the front desk and find the MOD Michelle working at her computer.

"Hey Michelle I just think you should know there is a cab driver outside who is calling the cops on me."

"WHAT???" She exclaims. "Why??"

"He told a guest she couldn't pay with credit card and I said he was full of shit to and he got mad and said he was going to call the cops." I explained. "The guest is getting cash at the ATM right now. I've got to go deliver some bags to a room, I'll be back down in a minute."

As I leave to go deliver bags, Michelle goes to the front of the hotel and approaches the cab driver sitting in the drivers seat on his phone.

"What the hell is going on man?" She asks. Michelle was born and raised in the Bronx. She's been dealing with asshole cab drivers since she was 5 years old, she knows how to handle them.

"Your doorman threatened to hit me and steal my phone and my money!" The cab driver shouted.

"My doorman makes way more than you do, he doesn't need your money. He's got the same phone as you so he doesn't need your phone either. Why won't you accept the credit card?"

"I'm calling the police!" The cabbie exclaims.

"You know what?" Michelle responds. "Don't bother. I'm gonna go find a cop and bring him here." With that she trudges off into Times Sq. looking for one of our boys in blue.

In the end, the guest came back and paid the cabbie in cash. A few minutes later, Michelle returned with a cop who spoke to the taxi driver and convinced him to leave and not to pursue any legal action and told me he was sorry I had to deal with the guy but that getting him to leave was far better than having anything more to do with him. I agreed, thanked him and shook his hand. Later on that evening I saw the guest return from her night out. She instantly recognized me.

"Thank you so much for sticking up for me earlier" she said as she handed me a tip. "Sorry I didn't tip you earlier but I was in such a big rush."

"No problem whatsoever" I replied. "I can't stand cabbies like that so I just couldn't let it go."

As she walked away I looked down at the tip in my hand.

"$3?" I said to myself. "For all that I get $3? Really?"

Oh well, that's the life of a Bellman!

Willie Bass!

So I work with this cat who calls himself Willie Bass. Willie Bass is a Puerto Rican man in his mid 40's who has been born and raised in the Bronx. He smokes a pack of Newports a day, at least a gram of weed a day and has a deep and raspy voice that sounds exactly like the Kool-Aid Man. In fact, for a period of time in the 90's, he actually landed a contract to be the voice of the Kool-Aid Man and recorded several commercials that aired nationally. This was before he was the road manager for C&C Music Factory. 

Basically the guy is hilarious and it's always a pleasure getting to work with him and listen to his stories about growing up in New York and being on the road with C&C. There was also a period in time when he was the personal driver for Jerry Seinfeld. I am convinced that should he ever decide to write his memoirs, it will be a national best seller! The guy can tell you stories and make you laugh for 8 hours straight. I know this for a fact!

Anyway, one summer day about two years ago, Willie Bass and I were busy outside working on the streets of Times Sq. I was unloading bags out of the back of a car that had just arrived and Willie was in the street hailing a cab by whistling his famous ear piercing whistle. The girls from the front desk were pestering us on the radio to come inside because people needed to retrieve their luggage inside.

"I copy that" I say. "We are both busy outside, we will be inside in just a moment. Copy?"

No response from the front desk. The front desk agents at our hotel use the 2-way radio as a 1-way radio. They keep the radios on but with the volume all the way down so we can hear them but they can't hear us.

"Bellman, we need help with luggage retrieval at the desk." Natasha at the front desk says.

"COPY!" I say, very frustrated. "Give us a minute!!"

Just then, as I hand the valet ticket to the couple that just arrived and invite them to go check in at the front desk, a cab comes speeding down the street. As he inches closer to the hotel I notice that he is getting very close to Willie Bass who is still trying to find a vacant cab for our other guests. The cab pulls in so fast and close that he runs over Willie's foot.

"Awwww Shit!" Willie exclaims! "That cabbie just ran me down! Make sure he don't go nowhere!!!" 

A middle eastern man in a Turban hops out of the driver side door and runs over to Willie. He says to him in a thick accent:

"What were you doing in the middle of the street? This is your fault!"

"Fuck you man!" Willie shoots right back. "You ran over my foot, how am I gonna make my money now man? I'm gonna sue your middle eastern ass!"

The cabbie suddenly becomes very defensive. "NO! It's OK. Here take my moneys, don't sue, don't sue!"

By this time Willie has dragged himself over to the curb of the hotel and is sitting on it while lighting up a Newport and unlacing his shoe.

"What? I got money motherfucka" he says pulling a wad of his tips for the day out of his right pocket. "I don't need your dirty money, it's the principle of the matter! I'm gonna take you down!"

By this time security has come out of the building and I quickly escort the guests away from the scene of the accident and inside to our air-conditioned lobby. Police reports were filed and Willie took a little time off of work to rehab his foot. He got a settlement from the cab company about a year later but it was only for like $5,000. 

I got a great story out of the whole scenario. I will never forget that day for as long as I live!

The Polar Bear!

As of this very minute, we have a guest staying at our hotel who is BAT SHIT FUCKING CRAZY!!!

She is British, however she claims that she was forced out of Europe by the Italian government. I know she is very wealthy because she wears a $20,000 Rolex and comes down into our lobby everyday with a different Chanel handbag. She gives $20 to anybody who is willing to listen to her mindless, bi-polar ramblings for more than 5 minutes. However to me, the $20 is not worth dealing with the craziness.

On her first day in New York, she came into the hotel crying uncontrollably because someone bumped into  her on the streets of Times Square. Then, last night she asked me to get her a cab that would "not speak to her at all or else she would just lose it." I found a cab driver and explained to him, "look man, this lady is fucking CRAZY! If you can get her to 33rd st. and 8th avenue without saying a word she will gladly pay you the fare and probably give you a nice tip." He agreed and within five minutes she was storming back in to the hotel, furious, at me no less.

"You need to find me a better cab driver, that guy was a nightmare!" She said to me. "I forgot my wallet and my purse in my room and he wasn't willing to drive me there. Find me a better cab when I come down!"

"OK" I said dumbfounded. "I will find you better driver." I ended up just putting her in the first cab I could find and wished him the best of luck. No matter what gets done for this woman, she will find something wrong with it.

This morning as I was arriving into work, I come to find out that she has been crying in the restaurant talking about how horrible the world has become and screaming about how today was the anniversary of the London subway bombings. I ended up hiding in the locker room until I found out that she had left the building for the day.

As the day progressed more and more of my co-workers told stories of how her craziness had affected them during her brief stay with us. We nick named her "The Polar Bear" on account of her violent, bi-polar mood swings. On our radios "Code Polar Bear" means she is arriving and to run for cover if you don't want to be yelled at for 20 minutes. A more competent management team would realize what a nuisance this woman is and ask her to leave the hotel.  However, since our management team is completely clueless, I get the benefit of witnessing this mountain of pure gold writing material unveil it's fruits to me first hand.

I have the next two days off but I work the morning shift on Sunday when she is scheduled to check out. Personally, I hope she stays forever. I could write a fucking book based only on the crazy shit this woman says!

My life as a tipper: Part 2

This brings me to hotels, my field of expertise. About 95% of all New York City hotels are unionized under LOCAL 6. The union contract states that any position deemed “a tipped position” (i.e. Waiter, Doorman, Bellman, Valet, Banquet Server, Room Service Attendant) is to be paid 50% of what non-tipped employees such as Engineers, Housekeepers or Security receive as their hourly wage. I get paid under $13 an hour. My weekly check for wages doesn't amount to much over $1,000 (after taxes) per month, which doesn't even cover my half of my rent! (Taxes are extreme if you work in the city limits, not to mention a pack of cigarettes is $15 and a six-pack of beer costs you about the same.) I depend on tips to pay my bills. A non-tipped employee makes over $25 per hour and cashes out at about $3,500 per month after taxes. Not too bad!

A lot of people (normally foreigners) look at this and say (in thick accents) "Aw that’s just bloody awful! Your hotel is cheating you and it shouldn't come upon me to make up for the money they are saving by not paying you a living wage."

"Look sir," I always reply. "This is America, tipping is a standard practice here. Because of that our industries laws have adjusted to that. I didn't make the rules about tipping and how businesses treat their employees here in the U.S., I'm just living with them. If you have a problem with the practice of tipping properly, maybe you shouldn’t have chosen to vacation here. Maybe you should have stayed in Europe.”(Or Asia, or Australia, or etc....)

When it comes to tipping at hotels, I will break it down by job classification.

For Housekeepers, when I check out of my room, I will usually leave a few dollars. If I stayed for an extended period of time and required them to clean the room several times, I will leave a little more. Please remember, in a union house, they are getting paid maximum wages and don't rely on tips to pay their bills. Same goes for anyone who comes to your room to bring you a coffee maker, an extra luggage rack or fresh towels. Whatever singles you have would be appreciated for the effort. Typically, anyone who brings something to your room is getting paid a runners fee of about $2 that will get added to their checks (and taxed.) Leave these folks a little something extra for the effort, but don’t stress too much about it.

Room Service Waiters are also not ones to be extremely generous with. Almost every hotel I know of adds an 18% gratuity to a room service bill as well as a $2-3 delivery fee of which the server typically receives 50%. However, look closely at your bill. If you don't see these charges, you better pay the man.

Now we get to Front of the House Staff. I feel as if I have a PhD in the ways of front of the house hotel tipping etiquette. When I stay at a hotel, I typically aim on spending $20 on tips upon check in, about $30 upon check out. I also feel I am quite biased since I consider them "my people" and tend to over tip them. Depending on whether you drive in or take a taxi you will either be greeted by a valet or a doorman. If it's a valet, give him the keys with a $3-5 tip while the doorman unloads your luggage from the back of the car onto a luggage cart. Don't be an asshole and say that you don't want help. The classic line is, "Oh, we've got it." Or, "don't worry about it, our luggage has wheels."  The doorman is there to do the job of welcoming you to the hotel and taking care of you during your stay. Don't insult him by not allowing him to do the job he is there to do just so you don't have to tip him. He will help you inside and get you to the front desk to start checking in and pass you off to the bellman. For this I will typically tip $5-10 dollars depending on whether or not there was a valet and depending on how much luggage I have.  

Now once I get checked in, I typically don't tip the front desk agent. Once again, they are most likely getting paid full-scale wages and are not relying on tips. If the person behind the front desk gives me a room upgrade from a king to a suite just because they have suites available, I will definitely give them a little extra for making my stay more enjoyable. 

As for the bellman, I will typically tip this guy anywhere from $10-$20. If this guy is personable, smiles a lot and gives me a lot of valuable information, I hook him up. A lot of people ask me how much they should tip a bellman. My typical response is "Well, don't you think that you are going to get a biased answer from a bellman you are about to tip?" just to break the ice a little. "Tipping a bellman is entirely based on the quality of service you receive, the amount of luggage you have, and how much your luggage weighs." Is my professional response.  

"If you want a mathematical way of approaching tipping bellmen," I continue to the clueless guest, "you should tip $1 per computer bag, backpack or purse, $2 per suit case or large duffel bag and $5 per box or cooler that you have with you. If you want to get very specific, how about tipping $.10 per pound or $.25 per kilogram on the overall weight of the luggage." If your bag weighs 80lbs, you should tip $8 for it, plain and simple. You can't afford that? Don't pack so much!

As for doormen who get you cabs, I will typically tip $2-5. I give just a little something to say thank you for the effort. To my surprise, I have been tipped $20 before just for hailing a taxi. It sure was nice, but I would never expect that from a guest for simply hailing a taxi.

If you follow my standards of tipping while staying at a (NYC) hotel you will probably tip somewhere between $50-$100 from the time you check in to the time we load all your luggage in the trunk of a cab going to the airport. All in all, your tips should end up being around 10%-20% of your final hotel bill. If you can’t afford that much to take care of the employees who work at the hotel, maybe you should find a hotel that’s about 10%-20% cheaper. Same principle applies to restaurants, if you can’t afford to eat at the Outback Steak House and tip your server; maybe you should head down to Wendy’s.

Anyway, I hope I've cleared things up for anybody wondering proper American tipping etiquette. Any questions? Fire away!!